So it’s Sunday.  What did we do?  Well it was Mummy’s turn to get up with me so I woke up early and screamed for her.  She only held out a paltry 10 minutes which is rubbish.  Daddy would have held out much longer and we all know it.  She just can’t resist the power of my screams, mwahahahahhaa!   So it’s true, power really does corrupt.

 

We didn’t go to church, cos we never do.  In fact, I’ve only ever been in a church once when my friend from back home, Eilidh, was getting christened (whatever that is) and I spent the whole time crawling around on the floor eating raisins and getting my little fingers stuck in floor grates.  It was kinda dull although proceedings livened up a bit when this guy in a robe tried to drown Eilidh.  I screamed to warn everyone but Mummy whisked me out of there.  I’m thinking that’s why we don’t go to church more –the attempted murders. 

 

Mummy doesn’t seem keen on God and stuff like that (see yesterday’s post) so I’m bearing this well in mind for future teenage rebellions.  Currently I’m thinking of either joining a cult (Christianity sounds like a good one, flexible, you know) or trying to discover my identity by dressing identically to hundreds of other kids in what is known as ‘Goth’.  The make up looks crap but I’m liking the clothes. 

 

So anyway, coffee this morning as is our religion.  It wasn’t that interesting so I had to feign excitement about two blackbird hopping around outside.  I kept shouting “BIRD!” like I’ve never seen one before but sheesh, I’ve seen thousands of the things.   I just like the way Mummy goes “tweet tweet” a lot.  Does she seriously think all birds make cartoon bird sounds?  Hilarious.  Anyway, drank a pint of orange juice for the hell of it.

 

Because I woke up so early, I needed a pretty long nap.  Daddy did too, even though he didn’t get up that early.  I think my bouncing on his head this morning woke him a little prematurely but Mummy said it was ok.  She was smiling broadly when she said it so I’m guessing she had another agenda but I don’t care, I like to bounce and Daddy’s head is pretty soft.  I like naps, I hope I never outgrow them.  So does Mummy.  She says she’ll start locking me in a cupboard if I ever drop my naptime.  I am fairly sure she’s kidding.  She’s such a prankster, that Mum of mine.

 

This afternoon was loads of fun – we went to meet my friends, Maya and Olga, again!  And double fun – it was at the fountains!  I love the fountains, they are such fun.  I just stripped my clothes off and dived right in.  I heard Mummy saying I looked like a hippo cooling off at a waterhole but she’s just jealous she couldn’t lie down and roll around in the cool water now the weather is getting hot again.  I was confused though because when I sucked up a mouthful of water then spat it out (great game!), I heard Mummy say to Olga that I was “charming” then she turned round to me and said “that’s disgusting!”  Well, which is it?!  I’m a bit flipping young to understand sarcasm although I have a feeling it’s in my genes, I just need the key. 

 

I did a bit of stunt running and jumping too.  Ok, the first time was an accident but I could totally tell by the way Mummy and Olga gasped and held their collective breath that it was in awe of my skid across the water and not anticipation of my screams of pain.  Maya didn’t look impressed but she had her mind on more toilet training high jinks.  She made her Mummy take her to the loo three times in half an hour.  I can’t wait to try that trick.  We also managed to make three stupid med student vacate the café.  Get to the library if you want peace, you coffee freeloaders.

 

Mummy had to go back to work tonight.  I’m not sure what she does but I hope it involves her getting paid lots of money cos I need new leggings.  Ok, ‘need’ might not be the right word but a girl always needs more leggings.  Right?  It’s great when Daddy is in charge, he’s easy to psyche.  I conned loads of bedtime stories out of him and he slunk away a broken man in the end.  Oh yes, I rock.