Today is Saturday.  Saturday is Daddy’s day to get me up and I was feeling charitable so I let him have a bit of a sleep-in, cos I’m nice like that.  We had a good time playing and not eating breakfast but eventually it was time to wake Mummy up.  She said she was having a strange dream about being in a safehouse.  I don’t know what a safehouse is.  Is it a house that keeps you safe or a house that is very safe?  Intriguing. 

 

Daddy took me out to the bookshop today.  It’s one that sells dogs.  No, wait.  I’m getting that wrong – it’s a bookshop that gives all its money to the dogs.  What’s that called?  A charity shop?  Don’t tell Auntie Jill we go to charity shops, she’d disown us.  Whatever, they have lots of cool books.  I chose a couple of light reads (Tolstoy and Kafka) and Daddy got Spot Goes to the Beach.  Bless him.  He also bought Mummy a book about learning Spanish.  I can just see her efforts to learn Spanish going the same way as her efforts to learn Russian.  Hello.  My name is (insert name here).  How are you?  Please.  Thank you.  Goodbye.  I wouldn’t say languages are Mummy’s forte, unlike me who revels in such fair.  Ah oui, c’est vrai, merci. 

 

I had a massive nap today because all the bookshopping tired me out.  Daddy napped too.  I don’t think the bookshopping wore him out, I think he’s just lazy.  Mummy went to the pictures with friends from work to see a film about a shopaholic.  She said it was good but not as good as the book.  She reads books without pictures, what’s that all about?  I love pictures!  Pop-up ones are the best but I also like the ones where you pull up bits of the page and things are hidden behind them!  How cool is that?  Today we read Green Eggs and Ham.  I do like that book.  If I get Mummy to read it too much though, it’ll go missing, like The Gruffalo did.  Mummy says she just can’t find it but I think she knows exactly where it is.

 

Oh, talking of hiding, I’m getting pretty good at it.  My fav spot is between the TV unit and the wall.  It’s hilarious – every single time I go in there, no-one can see me.  It’s like I just flicker out of sight, like I’ve got an invisibility cloak or something.  Mummy and Daddy just start going “where’s Emma?  Have you seen Emma?” and looking around, confused.  Then I pop back out and they say “oh, there she is!” and then I hide again.  They are such simpletons, this can go on for AGES!  They never figure it out.  I can also hide in the bedroom cupboard but I admit I do get a bit over-excited about that and start screaming.  Be cool, Emma, be cool. 

 

Daddy got his hair cut today.  It looks much better even if Daddy looked faintly resentful at having to go.  I’ve never had my hair cut although Mummy does butcher my fringe occasionally.  Mummy gets her hair done all the time, she’s so vain.  Apparently the heat out here makes your hair grow faster.  Sounds like rubbish to me, where’s the science?!

 

We did have a little adventure today – we all went to the gym!  We’ve got a gym next to our pool and tennis courts (hee hee, we have tennis courts!  Although we only ever throw a ball around them because none of us can actually play tennis) but we don’t really use the gym.  Daddy used to until one night he went up and there was a frog on the door and he ran home.  I’m thinking from his reaction the frog was the size of a giant and duffed him up for being Scottish or something.  Every night we get frogs sitting on our patio doors and Daddy pretends he’s cool with it.  But I know (and now you know) that if those frogs were on the inside of the glass, it would be a different story.   Mummy once found the desiccated corpse of a frog under the sofa (shows how often she cleans under there, eh?) and never told Daddy because she knew he’d insist on moving house.  Frogs are cool!  They go ribbet and jump around.  Ok, the fly eating is not so cool but I’ll let that one slide because of the cool jumping. 

 

When Auntie Jill and Skye were here, they went to the pool a lot.  One day Auntie Jill got a massive scare because a giant iguana (one of the four foot long ones) got in the pool for a swim.  Poor Auntie Jill came flying (not literally) back to the house to tell Mummy who just said “and what do you want me to do about it?”  Iguanas do that sometimes.  They have no sense of propriety. 

 

Sorry, got distracted.  So yeah, we got to the gym and I had a wee bounce on the mini trampoline but to be frank that soon got old.  Mummy was on the cross trainer and Daddy was on a bike that didn’t go anywhere.  What’s the point in that?  I wanted to go on the cross trainer but my legs aren’t long enough.  Then we all did some jumping and stretching and prison lunges.  I don’t want to know how Mummy knows about prison lunges.

 

As you can imagine, I was pretty tired after all that activity so we just read some more (many more) books and then I had a drink of milk and went to bed with Katie.  Katie is my baby, did I mention her before?  She has a bottle of milk and I feed her and tuck her in.  She sleeps on my chest; I believe this is called “co-sleeping”.  Mummy and Daddy didn’t co-sleep with me because I didn’t want to.  They both snore and I need my peace and quiet to dream about dummies, car and flamingos.  Night night!